Just about every Summer, I have this phenomenon happen in my kitchen. No, it's not cooking magic in the making, more like an infestation of sorts. I'll make sure food, and whatnot is put away, but somehow these little buggers decide to come over and hang out in my kitchen. I like to do a quick disposal of these little pests, so I just grab the bug spray and spray it into the air...and you know what they do? They drop!! BOOM! Just as flies should!
I am noticing this season that Jake is quickly picking through all of the flies... at a breakneck speed! Well...let me get back to that.
ROAD TRIP!
Yeah I said it. Road trip. Nothing says, "I want you to be my wife" more than cramming 4-5 girls in two RV's! They can't be the most comfortable things to cram into, especially with it being so narrow....and having a dinky little shower...and bathroom. ugh.
This episode had a one on one date, a group date and a two on one date. Are you following along?
The one on one date was with the lovely Gia the swimsuit model/city girl. She hopped on the motorcycle and off they went on their date..... basically across the field from the RV's. How.......romantic. Especially after the other girls started howling at them.
They chatted about how they were both very dorky and their first kisses were just unexciting, etc etc. So, after much drinking they decided on a game of (of all things) spin the bottle. Which, in my opinion, was the only interesting thing about this date. After they were just about done getting all makey-outey...Jake did what was expected: Gave her the rose. It would have been really lame of him to just kiss, then kiss off!
The group date was one I would have liked to go on!! Zooming around on the beach in dune buggies!! FUN!! There was a lot of sand, in shoes, underwear and yes, mouths. It's a good thing there was a lot of champagne to wash it all down!! Tenley got the rose although Corrie, Ali, Vienna, etc, etc thought that THEY should have had the rose.... if you ask me, all these blonds are getting confusing!!
Anyway, the two on one date is AAAALLLLLWWWWAAAAYYYYSSSS awkward. There's just a third wheel feel. (for real) <--- sorry, I know that was totally lame. Ella sat there and WOULD NOT SHUT UP!! I did feel bad for Kathryn because of it. Anyway, it was a painful "date" and both girls got the boot... of course, all of the others back at the trailers were shocked to see BOTH sets of luggage go!! Not too surprised there. Ella IS gorgeous, but at the same time - I think everyone knew she wasn't "it". The same goes for Katherine, it was just awkward....
All of that ugliness past, it's time for the cocktail party/rose ceremony.
In my opinion, the cocktail party was just kind of odd - one by one, the girls & Jason went and sat in different rooms to talk & such. There visits all seemed so awkward...all except for Tenleys. They seemed so easy going & chatty...the other girls, silence. *snore*
During all of these little chats the other hens (in true hen form) sat around and back-stabbed all of the other girls. ESPECIALLY Ali!! "If Jake chooses Vienna I KNOW that he's not for me...I'll say something!" There WAS a stir at the Rose Ceremony...it wasn't someone having a hissy because VIENNA did get a rose - ugh - but because Jake ran off to find Chris....The dude had his mind made up - There were two too many girls. Even though they were both AMAZING (interpretation: get your butt out the door!) it wouldn't work out..... so off went Asleigh & Jessie. Riding off in the limo of shame!!
Each year my friend Wanda and I have noticed a pattern: The girl who is usually the one to receive the proposal has been "played down". Let me see if I can explain that: currently Tenley seems like she would be the obvious choice - and in all honesty, I kind of hope Jake chooses her. They seem to be so comfortable together, etc etc - but because Corrie isn't shown being totally close, she may be the one he pops the question too. We'll see!!!
Coming up on Monday...San Francisco!
"If you are goin' to San Francisco...be sure and wear some flowers in your hair...if you're going to San Francisco...your gonna meet some gentle people there..." Mammas & the Pappas.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
American Idol; Orlando
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A STATE MAKES!! Chicago...so completely foolish and untalented having only 13 people going to Hollywood.
Last night our dynamic trio was joined by Kristin Chenoweth who is this cute little petite thing with a gigantic resume for Broadway, television & movies. Kara attached to her like a leech and wouldn't let go! Well, I'd probably do the same thing...just because she's like a little pixy....like Tinkerbell!!
Anyhoo...
These auditions had some really good clips in it - there were plenty of "good" auditions with some interviews that had some really touching stories.
Seth Rollins is a dad who has a son with autism - his dream is to have a record deal to provide help for his little boy...what better tear-jerking song did he choose?? "Someone to Watch Over Me" Seth had a really nice/smooth voice and OF COURSE he got a coveted Golden Ticket!!
Another back story which was more funny than touching: Matt Lawrence who was thrown into the clink for robbing (of all things) a bank...with a BB gun!! Oy. He ended up spending FOUR birthdays in prison... Who says that? Who counts things like that? A little kid!! "How many sleeps until Christmas?!" Anyway, chose his life's song: "Trouble" It didn't blow me away, mostly because it isn't one of those songs that shows off vocals...However, he made it through.
Jay Stone was SUPER obnoxious!! He's the one who did the beat box/singing version of "Come Together" a la Blake Lewis. Blake wasn't as annoying...I think ONE beatboxer/singer per decade is enough!! After the drenching rendition, he made it through...much thanks to Kara and Randy. Hopefully, he won't make it into the top 12...I'm already tired of him!!
Now, I love my sisters....they're fabulous and I think we're close, but these two..it was scary. Bernadette and Amanda Desimone decided to audition together which - in my opinion - isn't a good idea. Sibling rivalry and all. Bernadette WAS the better of the two with her choice of "Hit the Road Jack" personally...odd song choice, but then again... so was "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" just...eeh.
Cornelius Edwards was absolutely a RIOT!! He had some interesting dance moves which he learned from some of his friends who "shed their clothes for money"!! That just made me LOL!! However...it WASN'T as funny as the jump split which, "Done split my pants!" I have some lyrics that come to mind: "...lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground" After all of that he discretely made his way to the exit complete with golden ticket! Let's hope there won't be a repeat of this wardrobe malfunction!!!
We DID have an American Idol first!! No, it wasn't the first time we've heard "Amazing Grace" and it wasn't the only time we've heard it where we wanted to stab our eardrums out with pencils
...it WAS the first time someone was arrested during an audition!! Awesome... something to tell the grandkids. "Grandpa...tell us about the time you tried out for American Idol!!"
Let me leave you with the best audition of the night.....
Last night our dynamic trio was joined by Kristin Chenoweth who is this cute little petite thing with a gigantic resume for Broadway, television & movies. Kara attached to her like a leech and wouldn't let go! Well, I'd probably do the same thing...just because she's like a little pixy....like Tinkerbell!!
Anyhoo...
These auditions had some really good clips in it - there were plenty of "good" auditions with some interviews that had some really touching stories.
Seth Rollins is a dad who has a son with autism - his dream is to have a record deal to provide help for his little boy...what better tear-jerking song did he choose?? "Someone to Watch Over Me" Seth had a really nice/smooth voice and OF COURSE he got a coveted Golden Ticket!!
Another back story which was more funny than touching: Matt Lawrence who was thrown into the clink for robbing (of all things) a bank...with a BB gun!! Oy. He ended up spending FOUR birthdays in prison... Who says that? Who counts things like that? A little kid!! "How many sleeps until Christmas?!" Anyway, chose his life's song: "Trouble" It didn't blow me away, mostly because it isn't one of those songs that shows off vocals...However, he made it through.
Jay Stone was SUPER obnoxious!! He's the one who did the beat box/singing version of "Come Together" a la Blake Lewis. Blake wasn't as annoying...I think ONE beatboxer/singer per decade is enough!! After the drenching rendition, he made it through...much thanks to Kara and Randy. Hopefully, he won't make it into the top 12...I'm already tired of him!!
Now, I love my sisters....they're fabulous and I think we're close, but these two..it was scary. Bernadette and Amanda Desimone decided to audition together which - in my opinion - isn't a good idea. Sibling rivalry and all. Bernadette WAS the better of the two with her choice of "Hit the Road Jack" personally...odd song choice, but then again... so was "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" just...eeh.
Cornelius Edwards was absolutely a RIOT!! He had some interesting dance moves which he learned from some of his friends who "shed their clothes for money"!! That just made me LOL!! However...it WASN'T as funny as the jump split which, "Done split my pants!" I have some lyrics that come to mind: "...lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground" After all of that he discretely made his way to the exit complete with golden ticket! Let's hope there won't be a repeat of this wardrobe malfunction!!!
We DID have an American Idol first!! No, it wasn't the first time we've heard "Amazing Grace" and it wasn't the only time we've heard it where we wanted to stab our eardrums out with pencils
...it WAS the first time someone was arrested during an audition!! Awesome... something to tell the grandkids. "Grandpa...tell us about the time you tried out for American Idol!!"
Let me leave you with the best audition of the night.....
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
American Idol...or is it America's Next Top Model??
Wow. Chicago is chock full of delusional auditions. Complete with the masses waiting proudly and confidently proclaiming, "I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BECOME AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!! Oh wait, I'm trying out for American Idol!!" I think the girl was in the wrong line for either show...I'm think she was really trying to get into the Jerry Springer Show. I know some people from Chicago so, I mean no insult to them...unless they were in the masses of completely pitiful schticks to get on TV. You kind of wish they wouldn't give audience to the half-wits who do imitations of Carlton Banks from Prince of Bel Air doing Tom Jones' - Not Unusual. It annoys me.
The Tiny Tim guy was obviously there for some screen time. Miss Boob boxer was completely pathetic and needs a hobby..other than falling on the ground & shaking her girls all over the place. One would think a person would be completely embarrassed by their antics. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of delusion in the water.
For those of you who were starting to miss the ever-so-lovely Paula; we were treated to Shania (I love your bottom) Twain and her very odd comments. They all knew what she was saying, it was just that you couldn't help but get this sneaking suspicion that her Coke cup had something illegal in it. "I love your bottom...I love your lips.." Creepy!! John Park just kind of awkwardly and uncomfortably and politely chuckled over her remarks. Mrs. Robinson remarks aside, John's rendition of "I'll Love You More Than You'll Ever Know" (Blood, Sweat & Tears - love them) was REALLY good. I think he'll do really well in this competition and I'm excited to see what Hollywood week holds for him.
Another ray of hope for the windy city was Angela who just can't seem to cut a break by getting past Hollywood week - Her father's death, getting a warrant for her arrest for parking tickets, her baby girl with Rett Syndrome. As was proven the past few times she auditioned; she can sing. Let's see if she can beat out her luck and make it to the finals.
Charity Vance; Who worked in her mom & dad's salon (located in their home) had a unique voice which I think will stand out.
One STAND OUT audition was Harold Davis. He claimed that his poor singing was due to allergies - there was a resounding NO. He then hanged his head down and walked eeeevvvvveeeeerrrrr so slooooooooooowwwwwlllly out of the room. Let me say; I LAUGHED MY BUTT OFF!! My son did that when he was THREE!! It was funny every time and it was HYSTERICAL last night! I actually had to find it on youtube so I could laugh again!
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!
WHEW!! *wipes tears off face from laughing so hard!
So, So long Chicago...only 13 made it through - and not one a Top Model!!
The Tiny Tim guy was obviously there for some screen time. Miss Boob boxer was completely pathetic and needs a hobby..other than falling on the ground & shaking her girls all over the place. One would think a person would be completely embarrassed by their antics. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of delusion in the water.
For those of you who were starting to miss the ever-so-lovely Paula; we were treated to Shania (I love your bottom) Twain and her very odd comments. They all knew what she was saying, it was just that you couldn't help but get this sneaking suspicion that her Coke cup had something illegal in it. "I love your bottom...I love your lips.." Creepy!! John Park just kind of awkwardly and uncomfortably and politely chuckled over her remarks. Mrs. Robinson remarks aside, John's rendition of "I'll Love You More Than You'll Ever Know" (Blood, Sweat & Tears - love them) was REALLY good. I think he'll do really well in this competition and I'm excited to see what Hollywood week holds for him.
Another ray of hope for the windy city was Angela who just can't seem to cut a break by getting past Hollywood week - Her father's death, getting a warrant for her arrest for parking tickets, her baby girl with Rett Syndrome. As was proven the past few times she auditioned; she can sing. Let's see if she can beat out her luck and make it to the finals.
Charity Vance; Who worked in her mom & dad's salon (located in their home) had a unique voice which I think will stand out.
One STAND OUT audition was Harold Davis. He claimed that his poor singing was due to allergies - there was a resounding NO. He then hanged his head down and walked eeeevvvvveeeeerrrrr so slooooooooooowwwwwlllly out of the room. Let me say; I LAUGHED MY BUTT OFF!! My son did that when he was THREE!! It was funny every time and it was HYSTERICAL last night! I actually had to find it on youtube so I could laugh again!
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!
WHEW!! *wipes tears off face from laughing so hard!
So, So long Chicago...only 13 made it through - and not one a Top Model!!
The Bachelor: Early Dismissal...and That's NO JOKE!
Yes, early dismissal it is! For my kids (12:00 & 12:30) but also for someone in this week's episode!
Finally we have a Bachelor/Bachelorette who gets some chutzpah and tells the whiner; "I think you should go..." I don't want to get ahead of myself here!!
After the not-so-subtle evacuation of Rozlyn and her cheatin' heart...she didn't even wait to cheat until after they were married! (perhaps I should have joined the girls at the comedy club) Chris Harris informed the rest of the girls that the show MUST GO ON!!
This week there were two, one-on-one dates and one, group date. The group dates are always very amusing to watch...and this week...it WAS.
The first date was a one-on-one with Vienna. That name always makes me think of those little Vienna sausages we used to feed my niece when she was a baby! Jake and Vienna took a...can you guess??..A helicopter ride.. what season could be complete without a helicopter ride?! During the entire flight, Jake just looked NERVOUS - well, I would be too if I planned to bungee-jump as a date!! The funny thing - he didn't try to be all macho! Instead he was panicky! (Bless his heart) So, Vienna saved the day by acting all motherly and cuddling his head... ugh. Now, I am PETRIFIED by heights! If I had some dude tell me that's what we were going to do for a date - I'd probably push him off the bridge...with no bungee! Over they bunged and while dangling decided to have some weird spiderman inspired kiss. Oh yeah...she went home with a rose. Much to the chagrin of the other cats.
Quick Terry story; A few years ago Craig, the kids and myself went over to the Snowbowl in Camden, Maine. This is a local ski mountain. They had some snow-tubing so that's what we did for Katherine. Nicholas was just a little baby then and I was completely satisfied standing at the bottom of this DEATH HILL. It took forever to get to the top, but she did it a couple of times - the 3rd time my darling and ever-so-loving and protective husband of mine urged me to take our daughter. As we were climbing, higher and higher I kept getting more and MORE scared!! I couldn't back down, because there was a huge line of people behind us. Finally, when it was my turn, I started to cry. There was absolutely no holding in of my fear! Dooooooooooooown I went in the tube SCREAMING in panic...people laughing...(Yeah. Funny.) Did my husband learn the meaning of hate that day? Why YES! Yes he did!!
My goodness! I need to be careful here - I'm starting to act like Vienna!! Making this review about myself!!
So, Vienna date over - she went back to the hen house all glowing and telling everyone about her jump & kiss, etc etc. Unfortunately, she didn't shut up about it. She was still "glowing" after a couple of days when the next girl was able to go on her OoO date, so she decided to repeat how fabulous HER date was etc etc. I wonder if Immodium A.D. works for diarrhea of the mouth!?
The group date was at a comedy club owned by Jon Lovitz. Their date consisted of the demand to make complete idiots out of themselves by doing stand-up. Ashleigh was as scared as Jake before he took the leap off the bridge. A couple of them SHOULD have! I'm not talking about Ali and her Tigger and Poo joke... or Tenley putting her feet behind her neck..that was actually kind of funny. I really liked Jessie's "My family is doing the sequel to 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'...they're doing the My Family is so Fat You Can't Tell They're Greek." Elizabeth, who "has morals" was talking about a guy from Utah...the girl got BLEEPED out!! Whoa. Corrie just pulled a high school snob tactic...just making fun of the unpopular girls. Now the pitiful: Michelle. I don't want to call her a "poor thing" because she is MAJOR crazy!! I don't know if she really had any jokes planned or if she DID plan them, but they just stunk. You would think the crowd would have given her a pity chuckle - but NOPE! She got BOO'D!! Even Jon Lovitz had a kerflummoxed!
The roof top after party was...wow - it was just so many different things! The girls were just kind of sitting around all bored like and one by one went to Jake as if they were going to confession. Tenley tearfully spilled her past - having been married, then cheated on, then divorced in a short period of time. So...she's got a little bit of baggage, but nothing major.
Ashleigh just spent her time bashing Vienna.
Elizabeth spent her time regretting the whole I-don't-want-you-to-kiss-me-until-you-ask-me-to-marry-you. Of course he called her a tease...which she WAS! I am SO completely shocked that she was sent packing without a rose!
Michelle spent HER time proving how crazy she actually was. She asked if it would be awkward if she asked him to kiss her. Uuuuuh..just a little! Was it a passionate, hair-pulling totally sexy kiss? Not at all! It was PAINFUL for poor Jake!! And a complete riot for the rest of us! She told him that she wanted something MORE than that...eeeew. After that completely painful interaction...Jake told her to get her sorry butt off the roof before he pushed her off. Well...not exactly like that, but he sent her packing!! It was the most beautiful sight I've seen!
Thankfully Jake had a wonderful OoO date with Ella and in the spirit of Jason's season, her boy was brought in to spend the day with Jake & Mommy. Anyway, it was a nice date & Jake seemed very comfortable being on a date with the both of them. I wonder how he ACTUALLY felt though...
The cocktail party & rose ceremony was BORING! It was just nice to see the tease leave...I have do say though, she had such pretty hair.
Next week looks as it may be interesting.... asking Chris if he HAD to give out the final two roses?? OOOhhh - the plot thickens!
Finally we have a Bachelor/Bachelorette who gets some chutzpah and tells the whiner; "I think you should go..." I don't want to get ahead of myself here!!
After the not-so-subtle evacuation of Rozlyn and her cheatin' heart...she didn't even wait to cheat until after they were married! (perhaps I should have joined the girls at the comedy club) Chris Harris informed the rest of the girls that the show MUST GO ON!!
This week there were two, one-on-one dates and one, group date. The group dates are always very amusing to watch...and this week...it WAS.
The first date was a one-on-one with Vienna. That name always makes me think of those little Vienna sausages we used to feed my niece when she was a baby! Jake and Vienna took a...can you guess??..A helicopter ride.. what season could be complete without a helicopter ride?! During the entire flight, Jake just looked NERVOUS - well, I would be too if I planned to bungee-jump as a date!! The funny thing - he didn't try to be all macho! Instead he was panicky! (Bless his heart) So, Vienna saved the day by acting all motherly and cuddling his head... ugh. Now, I am PETRIFIED by heights! If I had some dude tell me that's what we were going to do for a date - I'd probably push him off the bridge...with no bungee! Over they bunged and while dangling decided to have some weird spiderman inspired kiss. Oh yeah...she went home with a rose. Much to the chagrin of the other cats.
Quick Terry story; A few years ago Craig, the kids and myself went over to the Snowbowl in Camden, Maine. This is a local ski mountain. They had some snow-tubing so that's what we did for Katherine. Nicholas was just a little baby then and I was completely satisfied standing at the bottom of this DEATH HILL. It took forever to get to the top, but she did it a couple of times - the 3rd time my darling and ever-so-loving and protective husband of mine urged me to take our daughter. As we were climbing, higher and higher I kept getting more and MORE scared!! I couldn't back down, because there was a huge line of people behind us. Finally, when it was my turn, I started to cry. There was absolutely no holding in of my fear! Dooooooooooooown I went in the tube SCREAMING in panic...people laughing...(Yeah. Funny.) Did my husband learn the meaning of hate that day? Why YES! Yes he did!!
My goodness! I need to be careful here - I'm starting to act like Vienna!! Making this review about myself!!
So, Vienna date over - she went back to the hen house all glowing and telling everyone about her jump & kiss, etc etc. Unfortunately, she didn't shut up about it. She was still "glowing" after a couple of days when the next girl was able to go on her OoO date, so she decided to repeat how fabulous HER date was etc etc. I wonder if Immodium A.D. works for diarrhea of the mouth!?
The group date was at a comedy club owned by Jon Lovitz. Their date consisted of the demand to make complete idiots out of themselves by doing stand-up. Ashleigh was as scared as Jake before he took the leap off the bridge. A couple of them SHOULD have! I'm not talking about Ali and her Tigger and Poo joke... or Tenley putting her feet behind her neck..that was actually kind of funny. I really liked Jessie's "My family is doing the sequel to 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'...they're doing the My Family is so Fat You Can't Tell They're Greek." Elizabeth, who "has morals" was talking about a guy from Utah...the girl got BLEEPED out!! Whoa. Corrie just pulled a high school snob tactic...just making fun of the unpopular girls. Now the pitiful: Michelle. I don't want to call her a "poor thing" because she is MAJOR crazy!! I don't know if she really had any jokes planned or if she DID plan them, but they just stunk. You would think the crowd would have given her a pity chuckle - but NOPE! She got BOO'D!! Even Jon Lovitz had a kerflummoxed!
The roof top after party was...wow - it was just so many different things! The girls were just kind of sitting around all bored like and one by one went to Jake as if they were going to confession. Tenley tearfully spilled her past - having been married, then cheated on, then divorced in a short period of time. So...she's got a little bit of baggage, but nothing major.
Ashleigh just spent her time bashing Vienna.
Elizabeth spent her time regretting the whole I-don't-want-you-to-kiss-me-until-you-ask-me-to-marry-you. Of course he called her a tease...which she WAS! I am SO completely shocked that she was sent packing without a rose!
Michelle spent HER time proving how crazy she actually was. She asked if it would be awkward if she asked him to kiss her. Uuuuuh..just a little! Was it a passionate, hair-pulling totally sexy kiss? Not at all! It was PAINFUL for poor Jake!! And a complete riot for the rest of us! She told him that she wanted something MORE than that...eeeew. After that completely painful interaction...Jake told her to get her sorry butt off the roof before he pushed her off. Well...not exactly like that, but he sent her packing!! It was the most beautiful sight I've seen!
Thankfully Jake had a wonderful OoO date with Ella and in the spirit of Jason's season, her boy was brought in to spend the day with Jake & Mommy. Anyway, it was a nice date & Jake seemed very comfortable being on a date with the both of them. I wonder how he ACTUALLY felt though...
The cocktail party & rose ceremony was BORING! It was just nice to see the tease leave...I have do say though, she had such pretty hair.
Next week looks as it may be interesting.... asking Chris if he HAD to give out the final two roses?? OOOhhh - the plot thickens!
Monday, January 18, 2010
American Idol; Boston & Atlanta Auditions
Of course, I can't start reviewing American Idol 9 without first commenting on three HUGE changes that we have this season, and the seasons following!
Change #1: Miss Abdul has left the building! With the first two episodes past, the auditions seem somewhat less drunk? (I'm not sure if that's the word I'm looking for.) Having Victoria Beckham a.k.a "Posh" from the Spice Girls and Mary J. Blige as our first two guest judges made the auditions somewhat more interesting. I would have LOVED the Boston auditions more if Victoria's uberlicious hubby, David Beckham stopped in!! Oh well.
Change #2: The toughest judge you'll ever love is calling it quits! Whoa. Simon!! What are you doing?! I feel like a little kid whose parents are divorcing! Will the show stay the same? Who will replace him? Will we get someone who is as brutally honest as he?? I am one of those people who HATES change! I have a very difficult time dealing with it...sure, Paula being gone, big whoop, but Simon?
Change #3: Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula as the "regular" judge! Sure, I'm sure there will be a lot of funny comments, etc - which I like...but I'm pretty sure that Ellen isn't going to be a mamby-pamby judge who likes everybody and everything. She enjoys music enough to know what is good and what is... well... notsomuch!!
I don't want to give my fabu opinion on EVERY audition because I think that would be a little much! I WILL point out a few of my favorite best & worst auditions!
Obviously, I have to start out with the very first contestant; Janet, who if I saw correctly was from Somerville, Massachusetts which is where I am originally from. Sure, I was completely horrified at her representation of my hometown, but not everyone can be as awesome as the sisters Waters. ;) (can I get a "holla" from my sisters?! Oh wait..that's the other dude) aaaanyway, Janet loves to play the American Idol game and has claimed to have "mastered" it. After her rendition of Pocket Full of Sunshine it was obvious...the game is crap....and her jumping relaxation/pump-up technique...could have worked better if she had on a shorter tanktop.
On the "good" side I've got to give props to my pizano Amadeo Diricco! His rendition of Hoochie Coochie Man ..... was 'ow you saaay... boisterous..... molto alto! LOUD! but good!! I loved his family! It was refreshing to see some JOY in one of the back-stories...what I liked the best about this bit - his family clobbering him!! Awesome... now THAT'S a famiglia!!
Believe me - I WON'T forget the bizarro world Clark Kent. He actually started out as the mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, but after waiting the ENTIRE DAY, Andrew Fonton was mild-mannered no more. Actually, I don't think he ever is....Kara took an immediate dislike to him and I'm pretty sure the feelings were mutual. In all honesty - I don't think his version of House of the Rising Sun wasn't completely horrible.... then again, it wasn't whip-off-your-glasses-and-tear-off-your-shirt great either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atlanta had some real hum-dingers as well. A lot good, a lot bad and a lot who were just off their nut!!
The guest seat of honor was relinquished by Posh Spice and was taken up by the ever-so-fabulous Mary J. Blige. One thing that I really appreciated about Ms. Blige; she didn't do any Paula-isms. "Well...you look lovely" Nope.
First and foremost from Georgia: WE HAVE OUR HIT OF THE SEASON!! Last season it was "...You are my brother..." It's such a huge shame that I don't remember any of the words. Anyway, I didn't have the chance to see the entire audition of Larry Platt, it has gone the way of the viral video on youtube with people already doing their version! Larry speaks the truth! "Pants on the Ground" speaks the truth!! Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground! It's completely hysterical!!
One of my favs is Jermaine Sellers is a young church singer who takes good care of his mamma with spinal bifida. His rendition of "One of Us" was really cool. The runs at the end...mmmm... well, a little over the top, but cool.
The ditz sisters were (how do I put this politely?) Completely idiotic and obnoxious! As usual when you have two BFF's or even siblings audition together - one is considered better than the other! Lauren Sanders, a resounding NO! Carmen Turner, waaay better! I'm glad the judges didn't throw Lauren a pity ticket - that would have been a MAJOR waste!!
Bryan Walker was a complete dark horse. Chicken Little lives ON!! He's completely dorky, but he can SANG!
Antonio Skii Bo Skii Wheeler with the cocky attitude & misspelled shirt was one auditioner I can't wait to see gone. It will be just my luck if he ends up being in the top 4.
I don't even want to waste my time writing on captain inturrupt. Dude wouldn't shut up long enough to get advice. "I wish Paula were here!!" Sorry baby...she gawn!
We did have a young girl who had a Susan Boyle moment. The young lass who goes by the handle; Vanessa I-jump-breegis Wolfe. This girl, devoid of any other stimulation has had to resort to jumping bridges, hanging out on the porch & shopping at the dollar store. I have NOTHING against shopping at a dollar store considering many of my clothes are from Goodwill am I embarrassed about that? NOPE! I just make sure I don't wander around wearing fleece pajama pants. (Sorry MAJOR pet-peeve of mine) ANYWAY, Vanessa has a real old-timey country voice. I'm curious to see how far she'll go!!
Caio for now!!
Change #1: Miss Abdul has left the building! With the first two episodes past, the auditions seem somewhat less drunk? (I'm not sure if that's the word I'm looking for.) Having Victoria Beckham a.k.a "Posh" from the Spice Girls and Mary J. Blige as our first two guest judges made the auditions somewhat more interesting. I would have LOVED the Boston auditions more if Victoria's uberlicious hubby, David Beckham stopped in!! Oh well.
Change #2: The toughest judge you'll ever love is calling it quits! Whoa. Simon!! What are you doing?! I feel like a little kid whose parents are divorcing! Will the show stay the same? Who will replace him? Will we get someone who is as brutally honest as he?? I am one of those people who HATES change! I have a very difficult time dealing with it...sure, Paula being gone, big whoop, but Simon?
Change #3: Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula as the "regular" judge! Sure, I'm sure there will be a lot of funny comments, etc - which I like...but I'm pretty sure that Ellen isn't going to be a mamby-pamby judge who likes everybody and everything. She enjoys music enough to know what is good and what is... well... notsomuch!!
I don't want to give my fabu opinion on EVERY audition because I think that would be a little much! I WILL point out a few of my favorite best & worst auditions!
Obviously, I have to start out with the very first contestant; Janet, who if I saw correctly was from Somerville, Massachusetts which is where I am originally from. Sure, I was completely horrified at her representation of my hometown, but not everyone can be as awesome as the sisters Waters. ;) (can I get a "holla" from my sisters?! Oh wait..that's the other dude) aaaanyway, Janet loves to play the American Idol game and has claimed to have "mastered" it. After her rendition of Pocket Full of Sunshine it was obvious...the game is crap....and her jumping relaxation/pump-up technique...could have worked better if she had on a shorter tanktop.
On the "good" side I've got to give props to my pizano Amadeo Diricco! His rendition of Hoochie Coochie Man ..... was 'ow you saaay... boisterous..... molto alto! LOUD! but good!! I loved his family! It was refreshing to see some JOY in one of the back-stories...what I liked the best about this bit - his family clobbering him!! Awesome... now THAT'S a famiglia!!
Believe me - I WON'T forget the bizarro world Clark Kent. He actually started out as the mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, but after waiting the ENTIRE DAY, Andrew Fonton was mild-mannered no more. Actually, I don't think he ever is....Kara took an immediate dislike to him and I'm pretty sure the feelings were mutual. In all honesty - I don't think his version of House of the Rising Sun wasn't completely horrible.... then again, it wasn't whip-off-your-glasses-and-tear-off-your-shirt great either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atlanta had some real hum-dingers as well. A lot good, a lot bad and a lot who were just off their nut!!
The guest seat of honor was relinquished by Posh Spice and was taken up by the ever-so-fabulous Mary J. Blige. One thing that I really appreciated about Ms. Blige; she didn't do any Paula-isms. "Well...you look lovely" Nope.
First and foremost from Georgia: WE HAVE OUR HIT OF THE SEASON!! Last season it was "...You are my brother..." It's such a huge shame that I don't remember any of the words. Anyway, I didn't have the chance to see the entire audition of Larry Platt, it has gone the way of the viral video on youtube with people already doing their version! Larry speaks the truth! "Pants on the Ground" speaks the truth!! Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground! It's completely hysterical!!
One of my favs is Jermaine Sellers is a young church singer who takes good care of his mamma with spinal bifida. His rendition of "One of Us" was really cool. The runs at the end...mmmm... well, a little over the top, but cool.
The ditz sisters were (how do I put this politely?) Completely idiotic and obnoxious! As usual when you have two BFF's or even siblings audition together - one is considered better than the other! Lauren Sanders, a resounding NO! Carmen Turner, waaay better! I'm glad the judges didn't throw Lauren a pity ticket - that would have been a MAJOR waste!!
Bryan Walker was a complete dark horse. Chicken Little lives ON!! He's completely dorky, but he can SANG!
Antonio Skii Bo Skii Wheeler with the cocky attitude & misspelled shirt was one auditioner I can't wait to see gone. It will be just my luck if he ends up being in the top 4.
I don't even want to waste my time writing on captain inturrupt. Dude wouldn't shut up long enough to get advice. "I wish Paula were here!!" Sorry baby...she gawn!
We did have a young girl who had a Susan Boyle moment. The young lass who goes by the handle; Vanessa I-jump-breegis Wolfe. This girl, devoid of any other stimulation has had to resort to jumping bridges, hanging out on the porch & shopping at the dollar store. I have NOTHING against shopping at a dollar store considering many of my clothes are from Goodwill am I embarrassed about that? NOPE! I just make sure I don't wander around wearing fleece pajama pants. (Sorry MAJOR pet-peeve of mine) ANYWAY, Vanessa has a real old-timey country voice. I'm curious to see how far she'll go!!
Caio for now!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Say Yes to the Dress: Dancing Around Dress Decisions
This is actually the first time that I've blogged on this show! This is one of the shows that I listed as "enjoying", but never actually written a review on it!!
Say Yes to the Dress is a "reality show" on TLC. It has a pretty simple concept: Brides to be come in to Kleinfeld Bridal located in Manhattan to make the consultant's lives a living hell while they try on dress after dress after dress. There usually is some sort of entourage that tags along; Mothers, mothers-in-law (to be), sisters, step-sisters, cousins, soon to be sisters-in-law, fathers and even fiance's. (side note: fiances shouldn't be allowed. I know it's a little old-fashioned, but you know, all the mystery and surprise is gone) Normally, when you have such a group...it turns into a major free for all!!
Last night I kicked back and watched even though it was a repeat and even though it was an episode that left me feeling very hostile....ME....toward of the bridezillas!!
Bernadette is one of those super-picky people... I can understand being a somewhat fussy, but this girl was just majorly pathetic! Normally, the consultants will see down the BTB and ask them the first few general questions:
1. What is your price range?
2. What kind of dress do you like?
Both very crucial questions!
Instead of telling consultant Sara what kind of dress she was thinking about, Bernadette she just rattled off a major list of things she DIDN'T "like"!
So, Sarah bustled around the store grabbing a few presses that DIDN'T include any of the aforementioned "no-nos". Well, there were some, but that was discovered as each dress was carried through the door!
Sarah grabbed Randy, the fashion director and let him know, "Look, there's a crazy girl in dressing room 3. She claims she's here looking for a dress, but I think they just let her out of the OC unit for the day...please for the love of Vera Wang HELP!!"
Randy stepped in & said, "Listen here brat!! Stop messing around and tell me what you're looking for!!" Does she give a clear answer? NooooOOOOooooo!! One thing I really like about Randy.....he's a sneaky little devil!! (I wonder if he's the baby of the family...he has those traits.)
Randy: "How much are you planning on spending?"
Psycho Burnatette: "$5,ooo"
*Randy sneaks over to the mother
Randy: "How much are you planning on spending?"
Mother who is paying for the dress: "$3,000"
Randy...who had the stealth and uncanny deduction of Sherlock Holmes was able to pry out of the mother/daughter dynamic duo that there was ALREADY a dress... that was purchased...for UNDER $1,000.
I"m wondering if she actually had a fiancee or if she was looking... just like finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop...the world may never know....
Say Yes to the Dress is a "reality show" on TLC. It has a pretty simple concept: Brides to be come in to Kleinfeld Bridal located in Manhattan to make the consultant's lives a living hell while they try on dress after dress after dress. There usually is some sort of entourage that tags along; Mothers, mothers-in-law (to be), sisters, step-sisters, cousins, soon to be sisters-in-law, fathers and even fiance's. (side note: fiances shouldn't be allowed. I know it's a little old-fashioned, but you know, all the mystery and surprise is gone) Normally, when you have such a group...it turns into a major free for all!!
Last night I kicked back and watched even though it was a repeat and even though it was an episode that left me feeling very hostile....ME....toward of the bridezillas!!
Bernadette is one of those super-picky people... I can understand being a somewhat fussy, but this girl was just majorly pathetic! Normally, the consultants will see down the BTB and ask them the first few general questions:
1. What is your price range?
2. What kind of dress do you like?
Both very crucial questions!
Instead of telling consultant Sara what kind of dress she was thinking about, Bernadette she just rattled off a major list of things she DIDN'T "like"!
- No big ball gowns
- No lace
- No pick up skirts
- No separate pieces
- Nothing heavy
- No Belts
- Nothing plain
- No satin (too 'heavy')
- No wide seams
So, Sarah bustled around the store grabbing a few presses that DIDN'T include any of the aforementioned "no-nos". Well, there were some, but that was discovered as each dress was carried through the door!
Sarah grabbed Randy, the fashion director and let him know, "Look, there's a crazy girl in dressing room 3. She claims she's here looking for a dress, but I think they just let her out of the OC unit for the day...please for the love of Vera Wang HELP!!"
Randy stepped in & said, "Listen here brat!! Stop messing around and tell me what you're looking for!!" Does she give a clear answer? NooooOOOOooooo!! One thing I really like about Randy.....he's a sneaky little devil!! (I wonder if he's the baby of the family...he has those traits.)
Randy: "How much are you planning on spending?"
Psycho Burnatette: "$5,ooo"
*Randy sneaks over to the mother
Randy: "How much are you planning on spending?"
Mother who is paying for the dress: "$3,000"
Randy...who had the stealth and uncanny deduction of Sherlock Holmes was able to pry out of the mother/daughter dynamic duo that there was ALREADY a dress... that was purchased...for UNDER $1,000.
I"m wondering if she actually had a fiancee or if she was looking... just like finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop...the world may never know....
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Bachelor: SCANDAL UPDATE!! *spoiler*
*******SCANDAL UPDATE!!*******
Okay... I know I'm seriously pathetic, but whatevs...don't care!
Anyway - one of the big reasons why I love Twitter is because you get all of the breaking news on important stuff...like who was the Cheatin' McCheaterson who hooked up with one of the producers!! Here's the link!!
Here's a photo....
Rozlyn Papa
I wonder; What she was thinking? Or the producer for that matter?
Oh well - that puts a face to the skankdal...er...I mean scandal!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love
Seriously. "On the Wings of Love"?? How lame can it be to give The Bachelor that title? I know they do it basically every season, but this was just a little too trashy-romance-book sounding. However, when you watch the intro, that’s basically what you are witnessing: Jake, shirtless, staring wistfully off into the horizon. Jake, shirtless, drinking water. Jake, shirtless, lifting weights. Jake, shirtless…in the shower. Um…what? No filming of Jake, shirtless on the toilet?
I’ve gotten ahead of myself, I need to formally introduce Jake: In true Bachelor form, the next bachelor/bachelorette to carry the torch is one of the "favorite" castoffs from the previous season. This season, the favorite loser is Jake an airplane pilot from deep-in-the-heart (clap, clap, clap, clap) of TEXAS! Jake was one of the final guys standing last season with Jillian. After he was given the cold shoulder he went home licking his wounds and trying to figure out what we were all thinking: "Why the heck is Wes still around?! He’s already got a girlfriend!!" Wes was that cowboy who was basically on the show to attempt to launch his nonexistent music career. According to Wes…he had a country music hit. This said “hit” made it to #1 on the charts in some foreign country. I guess being #1 out of the country just wasn't good enough!! Anyway, all of the guys kept eluding to the "fact" that one of the guys had a girlfriend during the time of the taping!
Reenter Jake.
Because Jake cared SO MUCH for Jillian - he had to fly back and let her know that Wes was just a low-life scum-of-the-earth!! (Which he is!) Apparently, that whole superhero image endeared him to the hearts of (sing it with me) All the single ladies, all the single ladies…!
Compared to what we are going to see THIS season...the Wes scandal is not even going to come close to the scandal there will be this season!! I saw the previews and read Chris Harrison's blog & it's true - there's gonna be a little bit o'freeky going on in the Bachelorette Pad!! Well, freaky, plus a whole lotta "WHOA!" Obviously, this girl who (to put it nicely) hooked up with a producer on the show...that just completely blows my mind! The way it seemed is that Jake really liked that girl, but when the whole torrid affair...if that's what you want to call it... happened Jake was MAAAAAD!!! (To say the least) On one of the upcoming scenes it showed Jake going completely ballistic during one of the interviews and storming out shouting, "THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER! " I'll say it again: whoa. I may start some sort of fantasy football thing - only with what Bachelorette is the skank! I am going to make a sweeping judgment and call it now..yeah...by looks..and a tad bit of personality: Gia
Enter the ladies:
As is tradition; The premiere introduces all of the chicks. Each one of them does their own little introduction. There were a couple of models. A divorcee a couple of moms, etc etc. I honestly have to say though; This season the women are all gorgeous. I'm not sure if it's my imagination or not, but there are TONS of blondes!! As each one exited the limo they all had some sort of schtick. From peacock feathers, and dorky pickup lines, “Are those guns registered?“ to toy airplanes and...yup dirt!! How....flattering.
With the all-night cocktail party they all kept "stealing" (as they always say) Jake away for some one-on-one time. One poor girl actually tripped and ripped her dress - another changed into a stewardess uniform to make an impression....which it did...to all of the other women. One played "airplane" and then lets not forget the kicking off of heels for a full-on game of FOOTBALL
There were just too many things to comment on, but I do have a couple of quick things!
1. Michelle needs to access her un-crazy side. (As they say) She was all sulky because she thought that Jake should have just sought her out to have one on one time. Puuuleze...you're on your own sister!!
2. Some of them are a little too cocky for their own good.
3. Having Jillian & Ed interview all of the girls was really pretty lame. Why not Jason & Molly? Or maybe Wes!
Here's one last random thought: Since the very first Bachelor...How many times has Chris said "_____, ladies, this is the final rose"
I’ve gotten ahead of myself, I need to formally introduce Jake: In true Bachelor form, the next bachelor/bachelorette to carry the torch is one of the "favorite" castoffs from the previous season. This season, the favorite loser is Jake an airplane pilot from deep-in-the-heart (clap, clap, clap, clap) of TEXAS! Jake was one of the final guys standing last season with Jillian. After he was given the cold shoulder he went home licking his wounds and trying to figure out what we were all thinking: "Why the heck is Wes still around?! He’s already got a girlfriend!!" Wes was that cowboy who was basically on the show to attempt to launch his nonexistent music career. According to Wes…he had a country music hit. This said “hit” made it to #1 on the charts in some foreign country. I guess being #1 out of the country just wasn't good enough!! Anyway, all of the guys kept eluding to the "fact" that one of the guys had a girlfriend during the time of the taping!
Reenter Jake.
Because Jake cared SO MUCH for Jillian - he had to fly back and let her know that Wes was just a low-life scum-of-the-earth!! (Which he is!) Apparently, that whole superhero image endeared him to the hearts of (sing it with me) All the single ladies, all the single ladies…!
Compared to what we are going to see THIS season...the Wes scandal is not even going to come close to the scandal there will be this season!! I saw the previews and read Chris Harrison's blog & it's true - there's gonna be a little bit o'freeky going on in the Bachelorette Pad!! Well, freaky, plus a whole lotta "WHOA!" Obviously, this girl who (to put it nicely) hooked up with a producer on the show...that just completely blows my mind! The way it seemed is that Jake really liked that girl, but when the whole torrid affair...if that's what you want to call it... happened Jake was MAAAAAD!!! (To say the least) On one of the upcoming scenes it showed Jake going completely ballistic during one of the interviews and storming out shouting, "THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER! " I'll say it again: whoa. I may start some sort of fantasy football thing - only with what Bachelorette is the skank! I am going to make a sweeping judgment and call it now..yeah...by looks..and a tad bit of personality: Gia
Enter the ladies:
As is tradition; The premiere introduces all of the chicks. Each one of them does their own little introduction. There were a couple of models. A divorcee a couple of moms, etc etc. I honestly have to say though; This season the women are all gorgeous. I'm not sure if it's my imagination or not, but there are TONS of blondes!! As each one exited the limo they all had some sort of schtick. From peacock feathers, and dorky pickup lines, “Are those guns registered?“ to toy airplanes and...yup dirt!! How....flattering.
With the all-night cocktail party they all kept "stealing" (as they always say) Jake away for some one-on-one time. One poor girl actually tripped and ripped her dress - another changed into a stewardess uniform to make an impression....which it did...to all of the other women. One played "airplane" and then lets not forget the kicking off of heels for a full-on game of FOOTBALL
There were just too many things to comment on, but I do have a couple of quick things!
1. Michelle needs to access her un-crazy side. (As they say) She was all sulky because she thought that Jake should have just sought her out to have one on one time. Puuuleze...you're on your own sister!!
2. Some of them are a little too cocky for their own good.
3. Having Jillian & Ed interview all of the girls was really pretty lame. Why not Jason & Molly? Or maybe Wes!
Here's one last random thought: Since the very first Bachelor...How many times has Chris said "_____, ladies, this is the final rose"
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